Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Story Line: Redux


However, it was not a loogee that saved L'il Timmy Rompkins from a severe caning, but rather Hansel Daggerfjord's uncannily poor ear for music. For as the Singaporean police advanced toward the bleeding Rompkins, their mufti caps bobbing in unison, Daggerfjord opened his monstrous Mick-Jagger lips and started belting forth a version of Belinda Carlisle's cover of BB King's "Mockingbird".

There were two things that Daggerfjord should have known about the Singaporean police. First, that almost all Singaporeans are greatly enamored of Belinda Carlisle, and the police in particular, ever since her famous "Somerset Maughm Concerto" had raised $50,000 for the widows of Singaporean policemen. And second, Singaporean police are required by law to have completed four years of music theory before entering the police academy. These two facts, taken together, meant that Daggerfjord was caterwauling to a highly discrimanating band of heavily armed Belinda Carlisle fans. Not good.

Or, not bad. Depending upon your perspective. For while the Singaporean police were pummelling Hansel Daggerfjord until his nose spat blood the color of his hair, L'il Timmy Rompkins was staggering off, clutching his mouth to contain his own blood, and wondering how in the world he would explain this to Professor Klimmingstock.

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