Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Office Escapade:

The story is centered on a set of office cubicles and the inhabitants of this progressive work camp.

The lead character (Leroy Thorndackey) is considered by most to be a man of extremely high character. He never fails to deliver his projects on time and spot on, and he is always there for everyone in the department; but he has a terrible secret that he tries, desperately, to keep from his fellow workers: he is a chronic heavy drinker and has access to a netherworld “speak-easy” beneath his desk.

Under his desk he keeps a rather large and antiquated computer equipped with monstrously large reel-to-reel tapes on the front panel. He calls it “Big Daddy” and tells everyone it is the secret to his success.

The reel-to-reels are actually combination locks and by turning them in precise manner, he gains access to a fellow named “Lucky” who mans the door just behind and to the right of the computer front panel.

Set the combination, pull gently on the door to the CD and the denizens of Bacchus are his to have and hold.

The pass code to get by Lucky is “Have you been to the bull ball by the bay?”.

Lucky always answers with something different, like, “I heard Miss O’Leary carried an iron lung in her trunk”, or [emphatically] “TIECONDAROGA”.

There is a bar tramp named “Lucy” who has delusions that she is a top-level manager…in the world beneath his desk, she struggles to be taken seriously, constantly dealing with comments such as “I’m going to have a round with the boss” or “you ever been called on the carpet with her” …but on the rare occasion that she can get past Lucky and “climb the ladder” into the office above, she takes on the personage of the company’s Chief Operating Officer (COO), who is elusive and generally only known by her male secretary “Dirk” and a cast of “customers” who visit the office regularly for high level “talks”.

The workers in the office only know that she is the brains behind the operation and essential to keeping their jobs.

The male secretary unwittingly keeps the operation running, but never asks questions when COO is not there and assumes she is away on business with her “customers”.

The bartender is a leprechaun who keeps our protagonist, Leroy, fed with information to keep his projects on track and remain the hero in the world above. His projects are always money-making ventures and will typically involve public works projects (dams, missile silos) and crooked politicians.

They have a full-scale ventriloquist’s dummy that sits in Leroy’s chair when our hero is “down below”. It is peculiar, but no one seems to be able to tell the difference between the real character and his “dummy” counterpart.

The leprechaun, "Lynn", has a cast of his pals (also leprechauns) who man the dummy upstairs when Leroy is visiting the bar. The leprechauns are involved in an all-out war with some troll who live down the pike. They hate trolls and will tell anyone as such - always going on about their stench and the manner in which they wear their beards.

Lynn has a tough time and is forever trying to find someone to "man the dummy".

The only time any of Leroy's co-workers note any difference in Leroy and the dummy Leroy is when they get a new leprechaun at the controls, each brining something different to the dummy's personality.

When anyone other than Leroy escapes to the “upstairs office” a talking bulldog with a Scottish accent, speech impediment and a horrible temper tracks them down and returns them to the underworld. They call the dog “candy”, but his real name is Butch (when he sais it, it sounds like “BOOSH” due to his speech impediment – some people call him “BOOSH” and it makes him very angry).

The leprechaun is his friend and tells everyone to be nice to “B-U-T-C-H”.

No comments: