Sunday, April 08, 2007

Washboard on the Portico

Rattle them ridges,
ride them suds.

The laundry, she's gettin' done.
She's gettin' done.
That putrid ol' laundry,
in that slick suds 'n fun.

Rattle them ridges,
and ride them suds.

The Gavel-Gal
she's paying visits
to the enemy o'er there.
(I hear they washtub's done full of mud).

Rattle them ridges,
and ride them suds.

They're washing that laundry,
knuckles raw with blood.
Can't clean what won't come clean,
Cain't warsh with filthy sud.

Rattle them ridges,
and warsh out that mud.

That tyrrant Letchin,
he's comin' to call.
He's a taste for terror,
He's got a hunger fer it all.

Rattle them ridges,
and ride them suds.

"He's a liar, he's a cheat"
thus came their call.
"He's a'flyin' by his seat.
He'll be the death of us all!"

Rattle them ridges,
and ride them suds.

If the greenhouse don't kill us,
the fission surely will,
its salvation's a satyr,
one outcome, sum of nill.

Rattle them ridges,
and ride them suds.

"The enemy's in the dirt,"
was the handmaiden's call.
"Cain't warsh with filth,
won't come clean at all".

Rattle them ridges,
n' ride them suds!

Come clean, come clean
oh blood-stained hand.
The lies won't warsh out,
of the blood-thirsty band.

For this ol' boy,
there can be no defeat.
I'll rattle them ridges,
and ride a clean gait.

Water at the warsh house
she runs crystal clear.
No lies murk her surface,
and her depths run pert near.

Ride, ride them ridges,
and warsh out them suds.

Oh them hot-house 'maters
them gigantic spuds
Them big, buttered taters,
reckon sheik's war-heads is all duds?

Rattle them ridges,
and ride them suds.

Reckon their god is Dagon,
I've watched 'em hug buckeye tree.
My hope's are in ol' Reagan
his missile killers are my glee.

Rattle them ridges.
Rattle them ridges!
And ride

Ride them pure, ivory suds.


Miguel Cuthbert said...

Another rippin' poem. Is this bluegrass? I really admire the use of the southern vernacular.

Standifer Evasto Visum said...

Thank you. I'm afraid my Latin is pretty poor, but I decided last weekend that I'd try my hand at some "country" songs (whatever tag I placed on these I pulled as tranlation of "country music" - probably way off, but it was the only combo that sounded poetic).

Don't like the way all those "country" "artists" like the Guthrie boys turned my culture and our ways into hippie horse-shit.

Like everything the sorry varmints do, they stole it right out from under our noses.

So I'm trying to recapture the "real" country music of my youth for a conservative revolution.

Miguel, I can remember like yesterday sitting in the REAL Grand Ol' Opry and listening to real country music in the Rhyman...before all them sequins and hollywood crap - the building was so dilapidated that someone spilled a coke in the balcony and it rained on our heads - we didn't care, sticky as we were, we were just happy to be there and a part of that history - seeing it unfold live before us.

I'm going to continue writing verses like this until I get one I am really pleased with...just coming out of the gate, I'd call the first two "passable".

It certainly does not live up to the bluegrass monicker...yet, but I'm gonna keep tryin' (doesn't fully capture the angst of a conservative in pain - let's get a little further in the election cycle - I'm sure I can emote sufficiently at that point).

My apologies to my old Kentucky home. I hope they'll bear with me till I get it right.

Standifer Evasto Visum said...

Well, on second thougth, it looks as though I will have to bid farewell to Sterqui.

It's been a good ride, but someone changed my tag from country music to "poesis" (hell, ain't nobody from the South writes poetry - it was country music...till some critic or, worse, hippie, get a'holt of it...then it goes all holly wood and poetic. Mize well be a two-bit hooker).

Guess I'll have to work on my "grass" o'er to the precipice.

Been a nice ride!

Standifer Evasto Visum said...

I've had time to come to my senses (not to mention the fact I'm addicted to the unecombered self-expression practiced here).

God preserve free thougth!

Xavier Martel said...

I'm afraid 'twas I who changed the tag. I'm trying to keep the list of tags short, so please select an existing tag, rather than create new ones. If you'll notice, I created a tag for "Gregory Bluestein", so it's not like I'm deleting all your tags. Also, if you are going to use the tag more than once, let me know, and I'll add it. The purpose of the tags, of course, is so that you can quickly see all of the posts associated with that tag. Thus, by clicking on Standifer, you can see all of Standifer's posts. This was done in response to your suggestion that each author have their own page with nothing but their stuff on it. This is now achievable with the tags. Let me know if you plan to write more country music (and what the latin for country music was), and if so, I'll add it back.


Standifer Evasto Visum said...

Hey man, I wuz feelin' my oats (and my chagrin).

Ain't gonna leave this place.

Just hope she'll find a place for my new, old 'genre' (I'm really dedicated to back-trackin' my roots and stealin' 'em back from that danged ol' Bob Dylan and Kris Khrist-opt-fearin.

I want to take bluegrass back and make it once again the music of the true, "righteous" soul.

The music of the conservative in me, and my brethrin'.