Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Literary Announcement


Dear Colleagues and Contributors,

In an effort to resolve the timeless conundrum, the Sterquilinium is introducing the words "kelf", "gnelph", "telph", and "prelf", so as to provide poets and gadabout bards with several more words that they can rhyme with "self". Currently, english speaking poets are limited to the words "elf", "shelf", and, in desperate measures, "guelph". The new words may be used as follows:

"Kelf", noun, "a shiny object", plural "kelves"
example: "your love I place upon the shelf, gleaming and glinting like a treasured kelf"

"Gnelph," verb, "to see with great insight"
example: "If only I could see myself, with that same vision with which others I gnelph"

"Telph," adjective, "possessing inestimable qualities"
example: "Why do I feel like a love-lorn elf, when your so lame, and I'm so telph?"

"Prelf", adjective, "having lustrous hair"

I envy creatures oh-so prelf
like a sparkling diamond or glittering kelf
like a pearl sitting on a coral shelf
and yet at night, when I can gnelph
I often (sometimes) pride myself:
I'm not so dull as I am telph
akin to a pompous little elf

(Ingerstraum Blivins, "..lf", 2006)

Please do your best to introduce these words into general conversation and prose. In such a manner, you can assist poets everywhere, and put an end to debaucheries such as the following lyrics:

"Pardon me if I appear
to see beyond the now and hear
to try to save myself
I'm not the kind to dim the pain
but I can't take more of the same
living on your shelf"

(Kenny Wayne Sheppard)

1 comment:

Standifer Evasto Visum said...

You've no doubt heard of the earwhig (sp)?

I thank the Lord above that that so and so Sheppard (if that is his real name) spells his name different from my own (I can only hope this means he hails from an Aremenian clan that takes its monicker from the "parding" of sheep, which is something no self-respecting and God-fearing shepherd would ever attempt to unleash upon his flock).


Methinks meself would rather gnelph
a thing considered slightly telph
than ever would said eyes behold
Kenny Wayne Sheppard and his rotten prose.

By the way, the ear-whig thing...he completely ruined Hank Sr's rendition of "I'm so lonesome I could cry".

For his remix that rattles in my brain each time I try to sing the master, he will forever be damned to a village of musical and literary, albeit "prelf" lilliputians.

By the way, remind me sometime to sing his version for you...preferably after a few beers.